Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Weight to Go

My friend Judy told me of this new wonderful way to lose pounds.  It's called the Five Bites Diet.  You can eat whatever you want but can only have five tiny bites, exactly like people who have had the stomach bypass surgery.  I guess she doesn't share my enthusiasm for stuffing yourself senseless.  I like to quit eating a half bite before passing out from a carb overload. So many problems come to mind.  Where does one go to get such small portions?  What do you do with the other 1,439 minutes in each day?  I would imagine bloody stool or nonstop vomiting or whatever are the consequences  of overindulging, might deter me from stealing that sixth bite, if I actually had a bypass.  I think I will have more success if I just hire some mafia hit man to kill me if I chomp down on bite number six. Hmm it's just not worth the risk, I'd rather be fat and still breathing. 

No comments: